By David C. Daoust
It was yet evening on Callistopore, mid ArkLight Festival, which meant the Serpentine Dragon Xu Xian was still snaking his way through the city streets– out there, somewhere in the city, anyway. Most of the crowds had dispersed from around the local theatre as the parade had made its way further in. A theatre whose audience flooded out of the doors minutes after the final scene of ‘Might Mitch- Hell’s Hypnotist’. An Audience who probably had their fill of the ArkLight festivities, or maybe, just liked that the movie was half-off during the celebrations. It was a fairly sparse collection of people.
A collection which dispersed from the theatre rather quickly.
All the audience except one.
Joe knew better. Bucket of popcorn still in his lap, he chuckled at the poor saps who did not know better than to wait til after the end of the credits– for the bonus scene.
Poor saps, indeed.
The credits rolled and rolled as the solo movie-goer stuffed what remained of his popcorn down his gullet, until that final line promised ‘Mighty Mitch and Atta-girl will return!’ Yet, nothing more. How could he know that the director of the latest installment decided the whole bonus-scene-thing was stale? Left Joe sitting there waiting for nothing. Poor sap. He enjoyed the popcorn at least.
—
Geoff was a guy on a date. He had his best jeans and favorite Mighty Mitch t-shirt on. Along with his shiniest shoes and a face full of hope and promise as he led a beautiful girl, in a little bit too nice of a dress, out of the theatre doors.
As nervous as he was, Geoff felt like he could not go wrong. This was considering she was a huge fan of Mighty Mitch as well. The vacant disconnect on her face, went right over his head as he plowed through all his favorite thoughts about the movie… and all the past movies. He was just happy that he had something to talk about with such a beautiful girl.
—
Layn was the girl on that same date, she followed along as the man carried on and on about all his favorite scenes throughout the entire movie franchise. As he had from the start of the night, fell silent for the show at least, though quickly found a brief rejoinder to the list once the movie ended.
It was a full-on Mighty Mitch themed date. A date she regretted agreeing to. The only thing she regretted more, was that she had listed Mighty Mitch on her profile as one of her ‘favorite movies’. To her, it was simply a blank space she needed to fill– it was the first movie that sprang to mind! Honestly, Layn had never put much thought into movies. If there was a list of her ‘favorite things’– movies would not even be on the list.
There was always dinner, she just needed to make it through dinner.
Geoff knew of a café nearby that served fantastic cake, he led her in that direction.
—
The pair were not alone in their decision to visit the café after the movie. Hank stepped in after Layn while Geoff still held the door.
Hank thanked Geoff with a smile, though he knew his kindness was forced; his mind was simply too preoccupied.
Hank was a large, fit man. An actor in fact. One that was often told he looks just like Mighty Mitch— had been told that all his life. Except, of course, that he was a mottled man. Truth was—he had auditioned for the part in that very movie he and all these theatregoers had just finished watching. Not only that, but he also actually got that part. Until the news circulated that a mottled man was going to be playing the lead role in the latest Mighty Mitch movie. Hank got canceled. Hank got canceled by weird fanboys who felt Mighty Mitch had to look exactly like how he appeared in the old videogames. And because Mayberg was older than the mottled, they could not wrap their head around how he could be mottled. Mayberg is as fictional as Mitch! Hank didn’t get it; he didn’t want to get it.
Even in his frustration, Hank knew he was born for that role, mottled or no. He worked out every morning, watched his weight, was so careful about what he ate; every day, every day since he became serious about acting! He knew he was perfect for that part! You should hear him yell ‘Fists of Might!”; it was perfect. Having to give up the role to a bald ape like Dabne Crock was— well it was a crock! Of the shit variety!
That was it though– Hank knew he’d never have another shot like that. Didn’t matter what this agent said the studio promised Hank when they replaced him, he was boned. Boned cause of some videogame fanboys!
Hank had not had a piece of cake in absolute years, that was ending tonight.
This café really did serve good cake! Hank could now attest!
—
The teen boy Carlton wondered out of the theatre a good ten feet in front of his dad. He was supposed to see him every other weekend, but his dad didn’t bother with it most times. Called, said he mixed up the dates. He did this more than once. Now, Carlton didn’t feel like he even knew the man; Wasn’t sure why they had to do this, why they had to go on pretending. Really, didn’t even want to be seen with his dad anymore.
Carlton saw some of his crew across the street… he signaled them really quick, and they answered in kind. His dad cleared his throat after, Carlton found he was closer than he thought. He was suddenly worried he might have seen. He decided it didn’t matter—his dad probably never even heard of Taskmasters. His dad had kind of a funny smile on his face when he led him in the wrong direction. Carlton asked him what was up, his dad said he knew of a bridge he wanted to show him.
This, a list of only a few of the shiny happy people that went to see Mighty Mitch ‘the movie’. Each to live long oblivious lives, all except, maybe, possibly, one– Oaklan’s son.
April fools!
Have a great week!
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