aWLoN!prt.4
starts here!
By David C. Daoust
Elma Parks slipped out of her room with a bit more energy than she had in weeks- maybe months. She made her way down the hallway, the small droid, pretty much a caddy for all her random remotes throughout the ritzy apartments she lived in with her mother, hovered just off to her side. She was in a mood. A good mood- an energetic mood. Suddenly she snatched at the droid, gripping it in both her hands, then, with a holler, kicked herself off the top of the stairs. The famous teen actress rode the small floating droid down the short flight- letting the machine carry her weight down, best it could.
The small droid whirred and bleeped in protest, they landed with a pretty big thud- Elma was a little surprised. Though she should not have been, considering she was now much older than she was the last time she’d tried that trick.
She popped back up- unharmed- and slipped over the back of the couch to sit in a crouching position nestled dead center of the cushions therein.
The droid finally caught up- it seemed to be protesting still, momentarily hoped she did not break it…
‘meh. Just a stupid droid, anyway!’ She thought as she snatched up the remote from one of its compartments once it wobbled within reach.
Today was the day!
She’d been waiting and waiting. The talk was all abuzz… the United Moons. Everything was all about the UM!
Pressing the button, the power ran through her screen with a tiny ‘flpt’. She found herself looking at the latest advertisement for the all new holobot line. A product offered up, surprisingly to the Onion, by Otomo Corps- this all new direction, for the previously ‘all pharmaceutical’ company, had garnered quite a bit of attention- attention Elma had actually helped gain, considering they had paid her a hefty sum to appear in said advertisement.
In fact, Elma saw herself sitting next to the blazing head of some such random holobot form, just momentarily, before she had the option to skip the ad. She didn’t need to witness herself, nor did she want to be swamped with more of the same ads, if she dare linger.
The ‘SBC1- Swan Broadcasting Channel 1 -Morning Calls-’ ran the top of the screen as the, somewhat preened looking, Viceroy Kathy Starfront, sat in a high swivel chair; ankles crossed, with one hand covering the next, back-straight, waiting.
A woman sat off to her side with a small monitor in front of her. Apparently, in light of the latest upheavals within the Royal Alliance, (as in, the loss of both City-stations, Titanholm and New Donaghy, to the, never-to-be-mentioned-on-air, ‘Protectorate of Second States’ ruled over by the now infamous Alfred Zhou) the ‘Morning Calls’ early show, took on a slightly different format.
“Okay, here is one…” the woman read from the screen, “Justine from Los Deimos asks: ‘What can you tell us about the asteroid headed for Umbrie?’”
Elma’s eyes narrowed as she absorbed what was said. She had heard a little bit about that a few weeks back- about the supposed asteroid that ‘may’ hit Umbrie… in like ten years. Why the hell were they talking about that?
“Oh, good question,” Kathy Starfront said with a thankful smile. “Thank you, Justine. This is truly a pressing issue- astronomers, quite recently, discovered a rogue asteroid arching directly into the path of Umbrie, a Royal Alliance moon on the far reaches of the belt… Fact is, there may well be a collision…”
Elma rolled her eyes; it was clear she was not going find the information she sought through the Royal Alliance Media houses!
Elma flipped to the next channel, with it, the next commercial was offered up. New bot forms were all the rage after the sweeping success of Otomo’s new bot-line! Thus, the ad for this new rival bot form, whose release followed quickly on the holobots heels. This form, completely different than the solid-light lattice that Otomo Corp had introduced, sported a fully integrated, intricate sensation matrix, and a promised olfactory system. Where the Holobot appeared as a goofy real-world cartoon- this one was a traditional mechanical bot form, only with a series of wrapped and wired sensors covering every inch of the thing. ‘Looked like some sort of long-haired plastic troll- thus the product name ‘Troll’… Notably, it had four arms!
Elma wanted to know more, but knew better than to actually watch the commercial.
‘The TWC5- ‘Trade Winds’ Channel 5 News, Reporting!’ tracked the top of the screen.
“And truly, will Umbrie even have access to an ADS?” Carol Denver posed, through the patented smart and smooth demeanor she was known for, “That is what they should -all- be asking themselves. Why risk stepping outside the box?”
“It is pretty easy to take something like an Asteroid Defense System for granted,” Curtain fortified the idea through his flashing white teeth and beaming smile.
Elma was getting frustrated.
‘Everything was all about the UM- except the flipping news!’ Elma thought as she flipped to the next channel. Her head cocked for a moment as she tried to figure out what the next ad was selling… It almost worked- She almost watched the full commercial- if only to try and figure out what the hell it was for.
‘Crafty devils’, she congratulated as she skipped it anyway.
The Comedy Canal- Channel10005- ‘Daily Slice of the Onion!’ channel-screen appeared.
The Daily Slice of the Onion filled her screen. A small silhouette of a figure, at the bottom corner of a curtained stage could be seen skipping out. No, not skipping— gayly, frolicking out, before a silent audience. A cane appeared in its hand just as the figure made center stage. The shadow, in profile, twirled it over head, made sure all could see what it had held high, just for a moment…
Elma was not sure what she was looking at, nor what to expect.
Just as the figure turned towards the audience, he threw the cane down hard, it bounced back up into the air- and at that exact moment the curtain seemed to drop. For a moment Elma thought the figure would be engulfed within the thick material- instead, the curtain vanished into pink dust as soon as it struck the stage floor, clearly some sort of illusion.
The suddenly light-filled auditorium was a dazzle as the performer appeared clearly with the music; just a frilly trumpet with his appearance, though the loud crash of a drum could be heard as he reached out and rescued the cane from its descent back down to the floor.
In point of fact, ‘Patty Martins’ caught that cane- a huge smile beaming as the audience of the ‘Daily Slice of the Onion’ laughed riotously. No one yet knew, that the act had, actually, only just begun. That is until the aging performer, began to talk, in a rhythmic speech, that matched his rhythmic walk, as he took that cane for a stroll further down the stage. Music joined in, slow at first, though seemed to pick up with the series of jokes that the host, in his words, ‘machine gunned out of his pie-hole’! An act that quickly raised up into what, surprise surprise, transformed into an impromptu song. Which, in turn, promised to become a dance.
Elma could not help but laugh out loud!
He had free reign of an oversized stage- which was actually much larger than what he was usually seen on. The dancing girls that eventually revealed themselves from the wood work- became an army of sequenced leotards and flashing shoes, attached to the long perfect legs of showgirls… They picked up the tune- the big band trumpets and horns blared! Just when Elma thought it could not possibly get any more outrageous, horses, with massive plumes attached to their heads, trotted out through the lines of dancing girls…
Elma could only wonder- ‘til the equines suddenly popped back onto their hindlegs, at this point clearly holographic creations, and joined in the dance! A dance still led by Patty Martins, echoed, leg after flashing leg, by the infantry of showgirls and cartoon horses that swirled about in the most spectacular show Elma Parks had ever seen!
As it was all brought to huge crescendo, suddenly and unexpectantly- the girls and horses, all, crashed down into pink dust and the oversized stage was replaced by the normal soundstage, Patty was known to stand on!
With a straight face- Patty suddenly asked:
“So, have you heard about this asteroid?” With an over the top, anxiety driven, ‘yeee!’ He pulled at his collar.
Elma could not even remember what she had been thinking about- moments before.
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